Are you struggling with being alone during 'Lockdown'? Or perhaps you are with others but still have feelings of loneliness? This video is for you!
You may have been following me for a while and know that I am a qualified therapist and accredited senior level coach. I often put out snippets of motivation and information about mental health and lifestyle, but most of my therapy and coaching is carried out discreetly on a 1-2-1 or private group basis to this point.
This is my first official video I am making on the topic and the aim here is not to try and 'help everybody' but instead, offer some words that may support people some who are struggling with feelings of loneliness during Lockdown and beyond.
I’m just jumping on to do a quick video about being in a ‘Bubble’...or not being in a ‘Bubble’, as the case may be.
So, for those of you that don’t know what ‘a Bubble’ is, perhaps you live outside the UK, it’s something that has been put in place in the current COVID-19 ‘Lockdown’ situation, where a single person, can join up with another single person or a household so that they’re not alone…and we’ve called that the ‘Bubble’ (or support bubble).
…And some people may be without a bubble and they’re feeling a little bit LOW, a little bit DOWN, a little bit DEPRESSED, or really down and depressed maybe.
...and I just sort of wanted to explain the fact that REGARDLESS of what’s going on around you physically, YOU CAN still manage those thoughts and not feel ‘down in the dumps’ all the time. So it’s about the THOUGHTS that we are having, NOT THE actual physical SITUATION. And similarly, people might be in a big family unit and still be feeling quite separate or longing for something else and they have physical people around them but you’re COMPARING yourself to the ‘IDEAL’ situation, which is not what you are currently feeling.
So basically, I just wanted to come on and explain that the thoughts that you are having are creating the feeling, which ultimately leads to that behaviour or that end result that you’ve got. Perhaps it’s something that you’re having all the time...This, to be honest, is something that happens way outside the ‘Covid situation’, it’s LONELINESS and it can happen to ANYBODY at any point of time in your life. Perhaps it happens often, perhaps you haven’t had it in a long time and it’s just returned, perhaps you are up and down and it’s just a HUMAN FEELING and it comes from a place of (fear/protection and...) us feeling a little bit INCOMPLETE about ourselves and not having a full sense of SELF-WORTH.
So, as I mentioned, it stems from a thought and a useful thing to do can be to REPLACE that IRRATIONAL THOUGHT that you are having, that unhelpful thought, and that could start with a simple thought like “I am 100% worthy”. “100% worthy” might seem a bit extreme, so you could just start with “I am worthy... and that is regardless of whether or not I have got anybody else around me. It doesn’t make a difference. I’m still 100% complete. I’m great just as I am without having to attach myself or give responsibility to other people to have to be around me or me to have to have other people around me.”
So yes, regardless of whether or not you’re in a ‘family bubble’ right now, or a ‘friendship bubble’ right now or a love relationship right now, YOU CAN still FEEL OKAY and you can still feel HAPPY… And also some days you might feel a bit rubbish and THAT’S ALRIGHT as well, you can just LET THAT GO, let that TIME PASS, recognise it, name it “I’m feeling a bit lonely”, if it helps you and LET IT MOVE ON. But if you are somebody who is really suffering on a regular basis with this feeling, or you’re really struggling to get away from that feeling, then you might need to do a little bit more work, either on your own by WRITING it down and DETACHING yourself from the thought, because the moment the thought is out in front of us, Either we write it down, we speak it, we ring somebody, we share it, or we go online and speak to some online professionals, however the current situation is that you want to deal with it, in whatever form, getting the thought OUT OF YOUR HEAD is going to HELP to manage it. The moment You put some SPACE between you and the thought you realise that YOU ARE NOT THE THOUGHT and it’s just ‘a thought’, it’s a narrative that has been playing in your head and you are 100% WORTHY with or without other people around you, with or without a bubble.
... and I just thought that that would be really helpful because it is we actually something that we actually have quite often, it’s just because it’s been shoved in our faces at the moment and they’ve named it ‘a bubble’ and you might be going “I’ve not got a bubble!”, “I need a bubble!”, “I’ve got a bubble but my bubble is not great!” The fact is it’s how you’re thinking about it...which is leading to how you’re feeling about it...which is leading to how you’re responding to it, you’re ACTING, you’re REACTING or you’re FREEZING completely and not doing anything.
So yes, I hope that has helped in some way. I’m more than HAPPY to chat about it a little bit more if you want to REACH OUT and chat to me, as I say, do you get in touch. Maybe it’s not you, maybe it’s someone you know, or somebody that you’re aware of that may be going through this loneliness, this feeling of shame right now or lack of self-worth (or incompleteness, fear or protection) so please reach out to someone that you might think is feeling a little bit lonely, or perhaps direct them to somewhere that could help them If you’re not able to speak to them directly.
If you’re feeling like it’s there sometimes, try writing it down because it might be just that- separating yourself from the thought and realising that that’s what it is (a ‘thought’). Or even just this video, you might of been like “Oh actually, Yes, that’s what I’ve been going through. That’s what I needed today.”
As I say, it comes in waves, it’s a HUMAN RESPONSE, you might not be having it at all, but IT DOES EXIST and the moment we can TALK ABOUT IT, the moment it becomes EASIER to MANAGE and the moment we can get it out there and RECOGNISE it, the moment we can start to MANAGE it.
So, I hope this has been helpful! You can get in touch with me. I will pop a link below, I think that’s what they say isn’t it?! I could flash things on the screen, but I have no idea how to do that, so nothing is going to come up here and here...but do get in touch basically! I’m not that tech savvy, to know how to do all the flashy stuff, I just wanted to record a really simple, honest video that would hopefully help some people.
...Get in touch with me or reach out to somebody else, or get a pen and paper!
Okay, I’ll leave it there. Have a GREAT DAY. Whatever you are doing, don’t forget that you are 100% WORTHY and all you’ve got to do is KEEP SHOWING UP. That is it! KEEP SHOWING UP.
I’ll speak soon! Bye :)
See my therapy and coaching services here: https://www.hannahrees.co.uk/therapyandcoaching
Disclaimer: This video is not in place of medical advice it is just me sharing something that may help to manage some of those down times. Please seek professional medical advice if you are concerned about your mental health.
UK Samaritans : 116 123
UK Mind info line mon-fri 9-6pm : 03001233393